Mami Sasu

Mami Sasu (砂州真美) is a customer of Jewelry Étranger who is introduced in Case 2 of Volume 1.

She used Tatsuki Akashi's surname, but even she doesn't really know the reason why. When she was living with Tatsuki, it was a name she used occasionally to mess around. She hasn't spoken about it at all recently.

Appearance
She is described as a pretty woman with long black hair. She is fair-skinned, and has almond shaped eyes. Her voice is strong, but her walk is unsteady. She has unfocused eyes. They are open, but don't seem to be looking at anything.

However, she is very thin, due to suffering from an eating disorder. She wears a tight skirt, and a white dress shirt. On closer look, the shoulder of her shirt was a bit loose and hanging off of her. She carries a light brown shoulder bag.

In the photo with Homura, she looked a little more "filled out" than when Seigi saw her at the Jeweler. However, her smile was still somewhat stiff like at the store. She was wearing a Japan's national soccer team uniform in a photo with Akashi, and looks much happier.

After coming into terms with herself, she cuts her long hair short to all the way below her ears. Her complexion was also better than it was when she first met Seigi and Richard.

Personality
Most women who met Richard for the first time either smiled excessively like there was a feast before then. Or they pretended to be sullen to disguise their shyness. However, Mami did neither of those reactions. At first, Seigi thought her to be an unflappable person. However, It was more like she looks akin to a soulless husk whose emotions had all fallen out.

Sexuality
Mami is a lesbian woman, who is in a long-term relationship with Tatsuki Akashi. The two briefly separated, but they eventually reconciled in the end.

Note: Trigger Warning(s) Alert: Internalized Homophobia & Suicide Mentions!
However, she suffers from extreme internalized homophobia.

She remembers New Years at the Asakura Shrine fondly, as she spent precious time every year with Akashi there. However, she especially also remembers the otakiage event held at the shrine. In the past, the amulets and talismans that protected a home for a year would be burned in Asakura Shrine. A memorial service for the dead would be held with the flames. The amulets and talismans for burning would be liked high, as tall as a mountain. Every time she looked at that, she wished that someone would burn her.

She thought it would all go well, but it was hopeless. She knew with her head what she was trying to do, but she wasn't paying attention to what her body was saying at all. She couldn't sleep, even when she ate, she just threw it all up. She lost so much weight that she felt sick.

Even though Homura is such a good person, she felt that it was impossible for herself to marry a man. She was truly, at the bottom of her heart, disgusted and fed up with herself. She knows that she doesn't necessarily have to get married. However, no matter what anyone says, she doesn't like herself. She also doesn't think it is all fine. She admires "ordinary" women who married the men they loved and felt happiness. She hated herself for not being like them.

At the end of last April, she saw people holding a parade on a main street of Shinjuku. They were flying rainbow flags and wearing costumes, joining shoulders with their same-sex partners. Someone told her that it was a gay pride parade. That women who could only love women, and men who could only love men existed normally. That they are trying to get rid of discrimination and prejudice.

Feeling that they were different from what is normal. She wonders if there are people who has never felt that way even once until they died. After all, she feels that one's birth, parents, and tastes are all things you can't do anything about. Even so, humans are all one-of-a-kind items. Even so, there are things that can be changed and things that can't.

She eventually took a number of alcohol and sleeping pills to try and kill herself. However, luckily, she survived the incident.

Self Worth
She also couldn't believe that anyone can possibly love her. This is partially due to growing up without any family at all. She finds it strange that even though she is a complete stranger without a family, there are people who will be hurt just by her treating herself badly. Seigi noted that she is in a "minority" of people who hate themselves so intensely that they want to kill themselves. However, thanks to the former, she somewhat managed to come to terms with this side of her.

Family Policies & Losing Her Family
The education policy of her family was very strict and narrow-minded.

It included rules like "Don't cause trouble for others", "Don't stand out unnecessarily", "Live normally, Go to school normally", "Get married normally", "Have children normally, Raise them normally", and "Grow old normally". It taught her that it is the least difficult way to live comfortably without standing out. For example, maintaining a figure that will fit the medium sized clothes sold at mass retailers. Medium size, the size worn by the greatest number of people.

During her middle school trip, her home was washed away by a huge typhoon. Her whole family had perished then, and the tragic incident was reported in the national papers. She felt awkward about it making her "stand out".

Meeting Akashi
She fell in love with Akashi when they first met. The latter's personality was the exact opposite of hers. Akashi hates stuff like "normal", and is someone who can make her own "clothes". The two lived together for seven years. However, they were poor living together. She couldn't see a future with them together, thus she thought "It's good to be normal after all". She wanted to live more easily, and thus she suddenly moved out (disappeared) from Akashi's apartment on the winter of the year before last. After moving out of the apartment, she decided to work as a full-time employee.

Engagement To Takashi & Visiting Jewelry Store
She met Takashi exactly one year ago, after she joined Homura Corporation in spring. He immediately fell for her. They dated, and eventually became engaged. They had even finished meeting with his parents, and it was the marriage stage. He gave her a ruby brooch inlaid with diamonds for her pre-wedding blues last winter. She seemed to like it. However, Mami became evasive and non-committal.

She wanted to "draw a fortune" when she asked for the ruby's evaluation. If the ruby underwent heat treatment, she would marry Homura. If it was an unheated ruby, she would reconsider it. She can't marry someone who is trying to give her something much more valuable. It will have been better if he didn't care about her at all. She planned on making a fresh start, as someone different than who she was until now. However, she eventually got an eating disorder and felt mentally exhausted and worn out. She wanted someone to tell her what to do, and was told about the Jeweler by a girl from a bar in Ginza. That there is a jewelry store that isn't very popular. She also cleared out of her apartment in the meantime. She does not appear to have returned there for at least a few days, as it is completely tidied up. There is also three months' worth of rent, and a letter that reads "Thank you for all your help" in the wardrobe.

Aftermath & Reconciling With Akashi
Two weeks ago, the entire group devotedly waited and played at the Asakura hospital. Even when Akashi and Homura arrived completely exhausted, the emergency room door still didn't open. After sunset, the nurse came and told the group that she was all right now. Akashi, who was standing next to Seigi, flew into the room at the back and embraced Mami. She also broke down into tears. Mami who had dazedly regained consciousness, slowly stroked her hair with a hand. Without stirring an inch, Homura silently watched the two of them from afar.

One month later, the engagement is broken off. She is currently looking for a new job. She decided to return the brooch to Homura. She was finally able to also somewhat come to terms with her self-worth due to Seigi's words. In the end, she is seen riding on Akashi's bike, going away together with the latter.

Tatsuki Akashi
Mami's lover for seven years, and they even lived together until the former suddenly moved out.

The two briefly separated due to the former's complicated internalized homophobia. Mami even claimed that she had started to like men, and that is why she wanted to leave Akashi. She further claimed that she was thinking about the future realistically. They cannot live like how they did when they were young forever. It was just as well that she found a new job. She doesn't care about Akashi anymore. She has no plans to start over with the former, and to leave her and Homura alone. All the whilst saying those things, she found herself unable to look at Akashi's face.

However, it is shown that she still has feelings for Akashi. She remembers fond memories of the latter in the form of their annual new year trips to Asakura shrine. She further states "The one who was with me was Tatsuki" before she passed out after overdosing on pills. Mami who had dazedly regained consciousness afterwards, also slowly stroked Akashi's hair with a hand. The two eventually reconciled, and they were seen heading off together on Akashi's bike.

Takashi Homura
She dated him due to complications, and never genuinely loved him. She finds that he is a nice person, thus she also felt guilt that she could not love him the way he wanted her to. However, the both of them eventually got over their situations in the end, and their engagement was broken off. She decided to return the brooch to him.